Does your mom have a nice rack too?

7 Things NOT to Ask on a First Date

Along with interviewing for a new job and getting ticketed for speeding, a first date is one of the most stressful things to experience. First impressions matter -big time- and that is never truer than when first meeting someone on a date. Is my hair perfect? Do my clothes match? Should I order spaghetti or a salad? Did my joke just tank? Is it OK to touch her leg? Crap, she just caught me looking down her blouse!

To say the least, it’s a situation that can be nerve wracking. But as the two of you struggle to make the evening pleasant, i.e. free of awkward pauses, strange remarks and uncomfortable conversations, there are a few tried and true rules to go by. If you begin to feel a date absolutely bombing, NEVER resort to these questions:

1. "Do all the women in your family have big asses?" Don't go there. Sure, you may have meant the question as a compliment, but trust me: your date did not. And if you do hear those words spill out of your mouth, her ass will be the last thing you ever see of her - right as she walks out of the door.
2. "You have nice teeth - are they real?" This one needs no explanation.
3. "I bet you're a string bikini type of girl, right?" Underwear, or the lack thereof, is not a good topic for a first date. Its OK to think about underwear, but for the love of all that is good and holy DO NOT actually speak of underwear!
4. "Have you ever done it on a plane?" Seriously, does this even need to be mentioned? The "mile-high club" is so over the line in conversation.
5. "Wanna play beer pong?" Your date is your date, and not a drinking buddy. Besides, puking on a first date is so not a good start.
6. "I have a mole that looks like Elvis, want to see it?" This question is always, always out of the question.
7. And finally - "Did you bring any money? I seem to be a little short" I'm all for women's lib, but that may be asking a bit too much.

There are a lot of great topics for conversation on first date, but if you find yourself asking anything that even remotely resembles any of these questions, you may want to reconsider.